That's Kansas

Courtesy of Kake: "Sedgwick County Investigates Possible Cock Fighting Ranch"
93 cages of cocks were seized by the police, along with cock fighting paraphernalia (tiny rooster boxing gloves, maybe?), and cock enhancing drugs. You'd think it'd be pretty straight forward, but no.

The police came in and stole the chickens, who knows why.

Yeah, since when is it against the law to make animals fight for my profit? IT'S LIKE WE'RE LIVING IN RUSSIA!


And we can always find a way to shoehorn in some quip about illegal immigrants.


Illegals deregulated the financial industry and crashed the economy.


If it weren't for David Beckham I'd be a pro soccer player. Illegals are always taking those professional sports jobs.


Japan?


Hell yeah, we eat chickens anyway, I should be able to torture them however I please, you smelly hippies.


I just tied metal spurs on their feet so they could kill each other, they were fighting anyway, what's the big deal?


And for a completely alternate world view of history...



I don't think that's right, Mr. Peabody.